I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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