Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
