i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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