I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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