Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
