We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
