I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Alive.
So much puke
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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