I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
