He asked to "fluff my boner.."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
