Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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