I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
