Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
