im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wish my penis had a tongue
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
