going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
