I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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