do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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