I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm always down for nudity.
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