We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
