No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
