So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My liver just broke up with me...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
