You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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