remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
