How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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