haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it glows. i had to have it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
