i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Redeem this text for a blowjob
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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