I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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