you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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