so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize