i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
