do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
