Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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