That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I cut my penus on the lid.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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