Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
