no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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