Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
