And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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