Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
