its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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