**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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