New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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