ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
