Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
