So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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