I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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