BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Operation Purity has been aborted
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
