If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
