Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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