He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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