Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
