I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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