Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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