1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All the doctor said was why
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
