I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
