the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
