Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
