i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
