drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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