i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
