i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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