Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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