My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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