11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
