dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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